On Black Republicans and Battered Wives

Today's head-shaking is caused by eternal optimism. I hear that's a characteristic of us United Statesians. We're charming because we're so upbeat and forward looking. There's always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; there must be a pony in here somewhere if we're shoveling this much muck. But this everlasting Tinkerbell outlook - just clap harder to get what you want - leads straight into the depths of codependency. (Some people hate this word. It's just a term describing symptoms - get over it.)

I won't bore you with the theories. It's succinctly explained by the continuous hope for seeing something good in another person - despite all evidence to the contrary. The codependent wants to believe all the flowery words and ignore all the deplorable behavior - preferring to live with the rosy-colored glasses that someday the frog will be transformed into a prince and all the love, dedication, and waiting will vindicate a completely illogical devotion to a corrupt other. Essentially, the codependent is more gratified by living on their dreams (ah, the satisfactions of feeling like a selfless martyr) than by doing anything to actually achieve them. Look at poor me, I'm doing all this for this miserable wretch of a person, who is otherwise loathed by all. I'm ever steadfast and goodly in working for his/her improvement. I'm so saintly. What a crock. In reality, this do-gooder is fostering the wretch never to get better (if I improve, the do-gooder will leave me!) and making themselves useless for nearly everything and everyone else.

I'll let you go read more about it. Suffice it to say that this thinking is common to spouses of drunks and abusers. So for today's example, we'll choose the battered wife. So often, people ask 'why does she stay with him if he beats her?' See above for part of the answer. But let's look at some other likely quotes:

"My husband is really a good, law-abiding person. It's just that every once in a while he robs a bank. but really, deep down inside, he is a good, law abiding person."

"I thought everything was my fault," she said. "If he had run over somebody while drunk I would've thought it was my fault because I should have tried harder. He always said everything was my fault, and I believed him. "

How on earth does this relate for Black Republicans, you ask? From today's HuffPo:

"Many people think that Republicans don't care about the black community," Don Scoggins, President of Republicans for Black Empowerment, told the Huffington Post. "I know that's not true, but it's hard to dispel when have we major candidates who say they have scheduling conflicts."

Other black conservatives were far more forgiving.

"I truly believe that Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain can't make it because of scheduling conflicts," said black conservative pundit La Shawn Barber on her blog Wednesday. "I'm hopelessly naïve, I guess."

Sound familiar? Deep down, Black Republicans know that white Republicans care about them - they just know it. Nevermind Katrina, Trent Lott, Jesse Helms, and scheduling conflicts (at not one but two planned Republican debates by black organizers). Yup - all those black people should have done a better job of scheduling or maybe just fit their schedules around these white, very important, Republican candidates. It's their own fault.

I suggest that Black Republicans visit this website to understand that they should respect themselves enough to demand respect from others.